Love Makes Good Impressions
Greet one another with a kiss of love ~ 1Peter 5:14
People can tell a lot by the way you greet them. Have you ever met someone that just didn't seem all that happy to see you? Have you even been so happy to see someone you couldn't contain yourself?
When you first met your spouse , would you greet him or her differently than you do today? Probably. Back when things were new you couldn't wait to see your spouse. Back then it was exciting and fresh and new. It was amazing. Now, is it the same?
Do you take your spouse for granted? We all put energy in how we present ourselves to the public. We put our best foot forward and try to make a good impression. It's time to put that same effort into you greet your spouse.
Today's Dare
Think of a specific way you would like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile an enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Showing posts with label challenge. Show all posts
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
DAY EIGHT
Love is not Jealous
Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like the blazing fire ~Song of Solomon8:6
Jealousy drives man stronger than just about anything. It can take over where love once was. It turns family and friends against one another. It is easy to justify but harder to rid yourself of. There are two different forms of jealousy
legitimate and illegitimate
Legitimate jealousy, righteous jealousy, occurs when a spouse turns their love from you to another person or thing. If a woman or a man were to have an affair, the other partner would have a justifiable jealously. The bible speaks of God's love for us being much the same. Not because he wants what we have (since he gave it all to us anyway) but because he loves us that much. His desire for us to follow him and search for him first comes from the love he has for us, like nothing anyone can fathom. "the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God"(Deuteronomy4:24) Can you imagine if you gave someone everything and they turned away from you? Wouldn't that truly hurt?
Illegitimate Jealousy is when you want what another has. You may be jealous of another person's job, house, family, car or popularity. To be moved with envy, to feel hatred because someone gets what it is you want, can derail even the best of intentions. The Bible tells us this leads also to fighting,quarreling and every evil thing (James 3:16, 4:1-2)
In marriage two become one, there for you should be each other's biggest champions. Wanting only what is best for your loved one and not being jealous of their successes can make a marriage run smoothly. Because love is not selfish it refuses to let jealousy in. When a husband receives praise , he refuses to boast and instead thanks his wife for helping to support him in his success. A loving wife will be the first to cheer for her husband when he wins.
It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart It is time to let your spouse's success draw you closer together.
Today's Dare
Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list on negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like the blazing fire ~Song of Solomon8:6
Jealousy drives man stronger than just about anything. It can take over where love once was. It turns family and friends against one another. It is easy to justify but harder to rid yourself of. There are two different forms of jealousy
legitimate and illegitimate
Legitimate jealousy, righteous jealousy, occurs when a spouse turns their love from you to another person or thing. If a woman or a man were to have an affair, the other partner would have a justifiable jealously. The bible speaks of God's love for us being much the same. Not because he wants what we have (since he gave it all to us anyway) but because he loves us that much. His desire for us to follow him and search for him first comes from the love he has for us, like nothing anyone can fathom. "the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God"(Deuteronomy4:24) Can you imagine if you gave someone everything and they turned away from you? Wouldn't that truly hurt?
Illegitimate Jealousy is when you want what another has. You may be jealous of another person's job, house, family, car or popularity. To be moved with envy, to feel hatred because someone gets what it is you want, can derail even the best of intentions. The Bible tells us this leads also to fighting,quarreling and every evil thing (James 3:16, 4:1-2)
In marriage two become one, there for you should be each other's biggest champions. Wanting only what is best for your loved one and not being jealous of their successes can make a marriage run smoothly. Because love is not selfish it refuses to let jealousy in. When a husband receives praise , he refuses to boast and instead thanks his wife for helping to support him in his success. A loving wife will be the first to cheer for her husband when he wins.
It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart It is time to let your spouse's success draw you closer together.
Today's Dare
Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list on negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
DAY SEVEN
LOVE BELIEVES THE BEST
Love believes all things, hopes all things.~1Corinthians 13:7
There are two rooms. One to the left and one to the right.
The One on the right is the Room of Appreciation. It is down a bright and glittering hallway.It is bathed in light and promise.Good things are written there about the people in your life. It is warm and sunny. Positive affirmations abound and spill from the door when it opens. Happiness bounces around the room in balls of soft spun gold. Every inch of the room is filled with love, light and happiness. It is where you place all positive encouraging thoughts about your partner.
The One on the left is the Room of Depreciation. It is down a deep dark hallway with a heavy metal door.Negative things are written here about the people in your life. The door locks only from the inside so it is very difficult to get out. It is cold and dark here, with a wet musty smell. Angry words burst out when you open the door. Put downs and complaints explode and multiply around the room. Every inch of the room is filled with anger, darkness and despair. It is where every complaint about your partner is placed.
Where do you spend your time?Like most of us the darker room is easier to get into and harder to get out. the longer you are with someone the more time you end up spending in the dark. It must be a conscious effort to go into the Room of Appreciation, just like when you first met.
It is time to start thinking differently. focus on the positive and the happiness. Focus on your dreams and hopes together and move forward in love. We need to lock the door on our Room of Depreciation and never go in, unless it's to write "CONVERTED IN LOVE" everywhere.
Today's Dare
For today's dare. get two sheets of paper. One the first one spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your souse. then do the same with negative things on the other sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day There is a different purpose for each.
At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic
Love believes all things, hopes all things.~1Corinthians 13:7
There are two rooms. One to the left and one to the right.
The One on the right is the Room of Appreciation. It is down a bright and glittering hallway.It is bathed in light and promise.Good things are written there about the people in your life. It is warm and sunny. Positive affirmations abound and spill from the door when it opens. Happiness bounces around the room in balls of soft spun gold. Every inch of the room is filled with love, light and happiness. It is where you place all positive encouraging thoughts about your partner.
The One on the left is the Room of Depreciation. It is down a deep dark hallway with a heavy metal door.Negative things are written here about the people in your life. The door locks only from the inside so it is very difficult to get out. It is cold and dark here, with a wet musty smell. Angry words burst out when you open the door. Put downs and complaints explode and multiply around the room. Every inch of the room is filled with anger, darkness and despair. It is where every complaint about your partner is placed.
Where do you spend your time?Like most of us the darker room is easier to get into and harder to get out. the longer you are with someone the more time you end up spending in the dark. It must be a conscious effort to go into the Room of Appreciation, just like when you first met.
It is time to start thinking differently. focus on the positive and the happiness. Focus on your dreams and hopes together and move forward in love. We need to lock the door on our Room of Depreciation and never go in, unless it's to write "CONVERTED IN LOVE" everywhere.
Today's Dare
For today's dare. get two sheets of paper. One the first one spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your souse. then do the same with negative things on the other sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day There is a different purpose for each.
At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic
Monday, February 27, 2012
DAY FIVE
LOVE IS NOT RUDE
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.~Proverbs 27:14
Being rude is nothing less than irritating. If you are doing or saying things that are not necessary or unpleasant then you are being rude. poor manners,foul language,or sarcastic remarks (undoubtedly the hardest for me) are not enjoyable attributes in a spouse.
When a man is focused on loving his partner he is behaves in a way that is loving and kind, rather than rude and dismissive. A woman avoids those things which frustrate or disenchant her love. You must express good manners and exercises self-control around your spouse.By doing this you say to them that you value them. If you allow love to change your behavior you will raise the respect level around you.If you dare to love you will give only the best to your own, because you cherish them. If you are unwilling to make needed changes in your behavior then your marriage will suffer for it.
Women, we too suffer from rudeness, though not in the same way as men. King Solomon said "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.~proverbs 25:24." However, men especially need this lesson "it is well with the man who is gracious~Psalm112:5"
We are either rude through ignorance or selfishness. Neither of them is a good thing
Ask yourself
How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
How does your behavior affect your mates sense of worth?
Would your partner describe you as a blessing or condescending and embarrassing?
If you think it is only your spouse in need of work here, you are likely suffering from ignorance as well as selfishness.
here are some principles to focus on
1. Guard the golden rule- treat your mate as you want to be treated.
2.No double standards - be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers
3. Honor requests- consider what your spouse has asked of you. If in doubt ...ask
Today's dare
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him/her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.This is from their perspective only.
He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.~Proverbs 27:14
Being rude is nothing less than irritating. If you are doing or saying things that are not necessary or unpleasant then you are being rude. poor manners,foul language,or sarcastic remarks (undoubtedly the hardest for me) are not enjoyable attributes in a spouse.
When a man is focused on loving his partner he is behaves in a way that is loving and kind, rather than rude and dismissive. A woman avoids those things which frustrate or disenchant her love. You must express good manners and exercises self-control around your spouse.By doing this you say to them that you value them. If you allow love to change your behavior you will raise the respect level around you.If you dare to love you will give only the best to your own, because you cherish them. If you are unwilling to make needed changes in your behavior then your marriage will suffer for it.
Women, we too suffer from rudeness, though not in the same way as men. King Solomon said "Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.~proverbs 25:24." However, men especially need this lesson "it is well with the man who is gracious~Psalm112:5"
We are either rude through ignorance or selfishness. Neither of them is a good thing
Ask yourself
How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
How does your behavior affect your mates sense of worth?
Would your partner describe you as a blessing or condescending and embarrassing?
If you think it is only your spouse in need of work here, you are likely suffering from ignorance as well as selfishness.
here are some principles to focus on
1. Guard the golden rule- treat your mate as you want to be treated.
2.No double standards - be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers
3. Honor requests- consider what your spouse has asked of you. If in doubt ...ask
Today's dare
Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him/her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior.This is from their perspective only.
Friday, February 24, 2012
DAY THREE
LOVE IS NOT SELFISH
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love: give preference to one another in honor~Romans 12:10
In the world today we have all become enamored with ourselves. Its about us. How we feel, what we want, what we think, and where we want to go. We give very little thought to what the other people in our lives may want. We often become so self absorbed that we can no longer see the impact of our actions on the loved ones in our life. The true opposite of the word love is selfishness.
When did you last act in your own desire rather than for the betterment of your partner? I know personally I do that often and it saddens me. I have personally created a rift that until today , I wasn't even aware existed.my darling husband gets up with the children should they wake at night. He works during the way , I do not. It is certainly a very selfish thing for me to do. I have to work on that.
Your actions may not be the only selfish thing. What is in your head? Where is your heart? What motivates you?
When a husband is selfish he puts his own desires, priorities, and interests ahead of his spouse. For a wife who complains of the time and effort she puts into caring for her husband and family that too is selfishness. Sadly we all can be selfish from time to time, but it is the hallmark of your relationship? Do you live a selfish life? love does not seek its own but the better of others. True love looks for a way to say yes. It cares for the other imperfect human in a loving way in their best interest.
Our Jobs as part of a whole is to care and love the other in a pure unselfish way. to not hurt or complain about the work needed to maintain the relationship.
even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain favor or worth. If it is simply to boast then you have acted in selfishness. Love is satisfied only in the happiness of others. This does not mean you cannot be happy, but you cannot at the expense of your partner. When you make loving your partner a priority you will find inner joy. If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.
ask yourself
Do i truly want whats best for my husband or wife?
Do I truly want them to feel loved by me?
Do they believe i have their best interest in mind?
Do they see me as looking out for myself first?
What is your reputation in the eyes of the people around you? Your partner also has the trouble of loving a selfish person. So be the first to demonstrate real love, with your eyes wide open.
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves~Philippians 2:3"
Today's Dare
Whatever you put your time, energy and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments buy your spouse something that says "I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY"
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love: give preference to one another in honor~Romans 12:10
In the world today we have all become enamored with ourselves. Its about us. How we feel, what we want, what we think, and where we want to go. We give very little thought to what the other people in our lives may want. We often become so self absorbed that we can no longer see the impact of our actions on the loved ones in our life. The true opposite of the word love is selfishness.
When did you last act in your own desire rather than for the betterment of your partner? I know personally I do that often and it saddens me. I have personally created a rift that until today , I wasn't even aware existed.my darling husband gets up with the children should they wake at night. He works during the way , I do not. It is certainly a very selfish thing for me to do. I have to work on that.
Your actions may not be the only selfish thing. What is in your head? Where is your heart? What motivates you?
When a husband is selfish he puts his own desires, priorities, and interests ahead of his spouse. For a wife who complains of the time and effort she puts into caring for her husband and family that too is selfishness. Sadly we all can be selfish from time to time, but it is the hallmark of your relationship? Do you live a selfish life? love does not seek its own but the better of others. True love looks for a way to say yes. It cares for the other imperfect human in a loving way in their best interest.
Our Jobs as part of a whole is to care and love the other in a pure unselfish way. to not hurt or complain about the work needed to maintain the relationship.
even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain favor or worth. If it is simply to boast then you have acted in selfishness. Love is satisfied only in the happiness of others. This does not mean you cannot be happy, but you cannot at the expense of your partner. When you make loving your partner a priority you will find inner joy. If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.
ask yourself
Do i truly want whats best for my husband or wife?
Do I truly want them to feel loved by me?
Do they believe i have their best interest in mind?
Do they see me as looking out for myself first?
What is your reputation in the eyes of the people around you? Your partner also has the trouble of loving a selfish person. So be the first to demonstrate real love, with your eyes wide open.
"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves~Philippians 2:3"
Today's Dare
Whatever you put your time, energy and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments buy your spouse something that says "I WAS THINKING OF YOU TODAY"
Reflection for day two
My Dearest One,
Yesterday was far easier than day one for you was it not? Were able to easily meet the challenge? What was in your heart as you proceeded with the task? Did you do this because you felt you had to or because you wanted to? How did your heart feel? Always remember that what you do to the lease of of men is what you do to me.
Love
Your Savior
I picture Him saying this to me. I did complete day two. I struggled with doing something as an act of kindness. By the end of my day I am so burnt out it takes all I have just to not snap never mind be nice. I had planned on doing the dishes and cleaning up so Dan didn't have to watch over the chores. I felt ill after dinner so I sat down. It was either that or puke everywhere. Dan went to put baby girl in bed around 9 and fell asleep so I chose to let him just stay in bed, where I normally would have woken him to help.
The end result was him waking up a few hours later when I came to bed and getting up to find the chores not done properly and some of the food still out. So much for him feeling relaxed and calmed by going to bed early. So I guess I kind of failed at that one. The intention was pure.
I struggled during the day with what act of kindness I could put forward for him. It surprised me that this was so hard.
Yesterday was far easier than day one for you was it not? Were able to easily meet the challenge? What was in your heart as you proceeded with the task? Did you do this because you felt you had to or because you wanted to? How did your heart feel? Always remember that what you do to the lease of of men is what you do to me.
Love
Your Savior
I picture Him saying this to me. I did complete day two. I struggled with doing something as an act of kindness. By the end of my day I am so burnt out it takes all I have just to not snap never mind be nice. I had planned on doing the dishes and cleaning up so Dan didn't have to watch over the chores. I felt ill after dinner so I sat down. It was either that or puke everywhere. Dan went to put baby girl in bed around 9 and fell asleep so I chose to let him just stay in bed, where I normally would have woken him to help.
The end result was him waking up a few hours later when I came to bed and getting up to find the chores not done properly and some of the food still out. So much for him feeling relaxed and calmed by going to bed early. So I guess I kind of failed at that one. The intention was pure.
I struggled during the day with what act of kindness I could put forward for him. It surprised me that this was so hard.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
DAY TWO
LOVE IS KIND
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you~ Ephesians 4:32
"Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts then kindness is how love acts to maximize the positive.(love dare)"one prevents the other is proactive. We must act in spite of our feelings and become proactive in our approach to our spouse. Love is kindness and kindness makes you attractive. It is very important you understand the connection between the two sides of love.
The Bible tells us that kindness is crucial " do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man" ~Proverbs 3:3-4
Seem to mundane for you? Let's break it down further
Gentleness~When kindness is at the center of your being you are careful in your treatment of your spouse. You do not purposely hurt them. you are tender, thoughtful, and gentle. Even when you must express something less than pleasant you do it in a way that does not hurt the other unnecessarily.
Helpfulness~It is important you are helpful and that you meet the needs of the moment. kindness is the grace that allows a woman to serve her husband without worry of her rights. It also allows man to be curious as to his wife's needs. To also meet those needs even if it means his are put on hold.
Willingness~through kindness you are inspired to be agreeable. You strive to be cooperative and flexible rather than reluctant, obstinate, and stubborn. A kind husband ends arguments simply by being kind and flexible rather than demanding his own way.
Initiative~ Do you wait to be told when it is time to help? Do you wait until anger boils up in order to move and change? Do you wait to decide until the final minute? When acting in kindness you see the need and act... first
It may be difficult to demonstrate love and kindness when you do not feel it. But love in it's truest sense is not based on feelings. Love shows thoughtful actions even when their is no reward. Jesus loves us, and often we turn our backs. So must be the same in your marriage and it need be unconditionally
Day Two Dare
In addition to to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you~ Ephesians 4:32
"Kindness is love in action. If patience is how love reacts then kindness is how love acts to maximize the positive.(love dare)"one prevents the other is proactive. We must act in spite of our feelings and become proactive in our approach to our spouse. Love is kindness and kindness makes you attractive. It is very important you understand the connection between the two sides of love.
The Bible tells us that kindness is crucial " do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man" ~Proverbs 3:3-4
Seem to mundane for you? Let's break it down further
Gentleness~When kindness is at the center of your being you are careful in your treatment of your spouse. You do not purposely hurt them. you are tender, thoughtful, and gentle. Even when you must express something less than pleasant you do it in a way that does not hurt the other unnecessarily.
Helpfulness~It is important you are helpful and that you meet the needs of the moment. kindness is the grace that allows a woman to serve her husband without worry of her rights. It also allows man to be curious as to his wife's needs. To also meet those needs even if it means his are put on hold.
Willingness~through kindness you are inspired to be agreeable. You strive to be cooperative and flexible rather than reluctant, obstinate, and stubborn. A kind husband ends arguments simply by being kind and flexible rather than demanding his own way.
Initiative~ Do you wait to be told when it is time to help? Do you wait until anger boils up in order to move and change? Do you wait to decide until the final minute? When acting in kindness you see the need and act... first
It may be difficult to demonstrate love and kindness when you do not feel it. But love in it's truest sense is not based on feelings. Love shows thoughtful actions even when their is no reward. Jesus loves us, and often we turn our backs. So must be the same in your marriage and it need be unconditionally
Day Two Dare
In addition to to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.
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